We live in a funny world. We want success, love, and happiness. It’s different for everyone. I can proudly say my life is full of happiness and endless love. Family relationships, a loving wife, and a God who doesn’t seem to give up on m
e – all of which give me all the happiness and love I could ever ask for. One thing I sense I lack is success. What is success to you? Would you measure it by number of accomplishments, reached goals, a certain net worth, a promotion, meeting deadlines? For me success is a feeling. It’s finding satisfaction in a wide array of things.
Where do you find yourself presently? Perhaps in the past you have felt success, but nowadays you’re seeking it once more. Well, if that sounds familiar to you, then I am able to empathize with you on a couple levels. I am very young, currently 21 years old, but I have felt success. Graduating high school was the first step. While this accomplishment was not painful to accomplish, it does represent the starting block for most people in our culture to the path of success. It is one of the first things young people can do to start off their lives, sending them in the right direction. What was the next step for you? For me, it was college. I attended Roberts Wesleyan College for three and a half years, graduating a semester early with a Bachelors of Science in Accounting & Information Management Systems. Graduation day after college was my next big step.
Then what? Well, I always saw myself working hard to earn a paycheck that would build my family up. I have been married for a year, and find myself feeling what most married people feel; the need to bring in an income to their family. I began applying to jobs immediately after graduation in December of 2009. I was offered a job soon after, but had to refuse it because of the high costs of getting licensed. You see, I needed earn a bit of money first in order to save enough to take the tests in order to become licensed. I continued to apply to jobs, seeking employers that would assist in paying for licenses.
Unfortunately, that availed to nothing. At the time, I was seeking employment in the financial services industry. I wanted to be a financial advisor because I liked the idea behind the job. I saw the job as being a “financial doctor” of sorts. After applying to several companies and learning more about the job I came to a conclusion: Financial advising is less about advising and more about selling. Knowing myself, I was aware that my sales skills are less than exceptional, and I knew I had little desire of trying to meet timely sales volumes. I feared my dream of being a “financial doctor” would deteriorate. I feared that instead of genuinely helping people “diagnose their problems” or finding the right “medicine or cure” for a person, I would instead end up offering anything they are willing to buy, or convince them they need something they do not, when in reality it was secretly for my benefit all along. So, I put financial advising to rest.
I decided to get back to my roots. I graduated with an accounting degree, and that was exactly what I wanted to do. Unfortunately, again it availed to nothing. By this time in the year, tax season had begun causing accountants everywhere to work overtime nightly sacrificing any personal time they could have had otherwise. This was not a great time for an inexperienced graduate to be looking for a job. Accounting firms and even small accounting offices are so busy with the tax season that most do not have time to train others how to perform all their work so that it can be completed 100% correct and without supervision. My degree was my last success step, but my inexperience was giving me a handicap that was costing me every tax job I tried applying for. In fact, most job postings or openings I found were looking for people with bachelors in accounting and five years of experience or more! Without needing to say it, I was not qualified for most of the job postings I came across, but I applied to some anyway.
The poor economy, with it being tax season, and my inexperience were all holding me back. The couple months after graduation flew by, and my professional title was still job seeker. This is about the time I began feeling discouraged and realizing that life isn’t fair and all that other stuff people are warned about from the time of their first cry. Trying not to lose heart, I began seeking help from others; networking. I was in touch with a couple recruiters and they gave me some advice on seeking out jobs and critiqued my resume. More jobs were found and applied to, now with a new direction and an updated resume! Unfortunately, yet again, it availed to nothing.
Becoming frustrated and even more discouraged I began applying to part-time-no-degree-required jobs: Wal-Mart, Lowes, McDonalds, Pizza shops. Trusting my professional skills, I was confident that I would stand out among other applicants to these positions, but found that I never got a call back even after following up a week after applying. Finally, Lowes called me back asking me to come into an interview. While I was still wrestling on the inside trying to accept the fact that I was a graduate seeking to be a cashier, I was extremely happy about the interview. I went through three interviews in just a short 45 minutes, and I was very confident I landed the job. All that remained was a background test. “Easy,” I thought, because my record is crystal clean. A week passed, and I called to check up on the background check process and to let them know I was still very interested in the job. The manager on the other line shared that the background check came back great and everything was fine. My heart began racing in excitement. “But I am sorry to let you know that we were placed on a hiring freeze…” At this point, I began questioning myself. Is something wrong with me? Was going to college to be in such great debt a mistake? Did I chose the wrong major? Am I not looking in the right places? Am I not saying the right things? Is there anything I need to change about myself? What am I doing wrong?
At this point, I have had a lot to try and swallow. I started realizing where my wife and I were heading because bills keep coming, but the funds to pay them seem to be slimming. I began asking the “what if” questions. In a month I am expected to begin paying back on my student loans. 
I began looking for loose change around the house to buy one dollar lotto tickets, hoping to be a winner. (Chances of getting struck by lightning anyone?) My prayers were becoming angry. I was becoming so stressed that after visiting a doctor, I found out stress was causing me to have chest pains and headaches. Dreaming and hoping were activities that were beginning to sound like a waste of time. I was becoming bitter, finding myself not even wanting to search for jobs because I wanted to avoid the heartache of letting my hopes get high only to have them crushed again and again.
Who to turn to? Where’s God? How did I get here? Am I worthless? These were questions I asked myself daily, and answered them incorrectly half of the time.
I wish I could end this story with a happy ending, but I am still waiting on that. Most days I stay positive, and I have never lost all hope. I still trust in God, believing that there is a plan in all this and that one day a breakthrough will come for me and I can give him endless praise! I don’t know how soon that day will come. I’m not sure how far Amanda and I will get, but God has always been faithful to us and we have always been able to pay our bills, keep food on the table, and keep gas in the car. I do not let myself live in fear every day, though some days are better than others. I am simply writing this entry of my blog to tell this story for what it is, to share it with everyone out there going through something similar.
Now I would like to share a couple things that have been an encouragement to me through this experience:
- Hope is always worth having, even if it gets crushed sometimes.
- Staying positive is healthy for your body because stress can cause physical pain.
- Your day will come, leave a comment and I’ll pray for you.
And finally, I would like to share this poem that has encouraged me when I feel like I’m hanging on to my last thread. I don’t know who wrote it, but I am thankful for its encouraging words.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit – rest if you must,
But don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow – you may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor’s cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out – the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And when you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit – it’s when things seem worst,
You must not quit.
Below is a link to my online resume.
(http://www.wix.com/Joeboe610/Online-Resume)
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Tags: accounting, bad economy, college graduate, cry for help, ecouragement for job seekers, finding a job, frustration, God's love, God's plan, graduation, help finding a job, hope, how to find a job, job seeker, job seekers, looking for a job, lost, pain, poor economy, recent graduate, starting your career, stress, trials and tribulations
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